Humor

How to Train Your Human to Stay Off Their Phone

FOR DOG’S EYES ONLY! Your human’s limited attention span and stunted imagination to have result in your invention of toy called the SmartPhones. As a result your human will often grow distracted by it during quality bonding time, such as a walk. To stop this, you can easily discourage this behavior by what we in the human training business call “Jerking your Human Around”

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Step 1: Wait until your human has pulled out their smart phone during you walk.(Note: This will be expedited if you sniff one spot intently for any longer that 15 seconds, thus, boring the human).

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Step 2: One your human is sufficiently engrossed by their smartphone, use all of your body strength to pull your entire weight forward, thereby “jerking them around.” Most likely, the smartphone will fling out of their hands, and ideally, shatter.

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Step 3: Turn around and stare back at your human in defiance. (Note: don’t be afraid to be harsh. Remember, this is for their own good.)

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